Dec 17: Lesson Learned

Today’s Reverb 10 prompt asks: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I’m going to make this very short because it’s almost midnight and I’m 90% sure my kid is still awake in the bedroom with his Daddy.

The best thing I learned about myself this year is that I am more than my patterns.  Right now (and this is VERY recent), if I can stay grounded and connected, I can notice these patterns…although I still DO them.  It’s a painful noticing-while-falling-into-pattern process.  Today I fell back into the pattern of silence and feeling small and criticized, but I was aware of the whole thing.  It still sucked, but it’s much easier to pick myself up and move forward from this position.  In 2011 I will do my utmost to keep grounded and connected (with Reiki, meditation, journalling, prayer, etc), and continue this work.  Maybe by 2012 I will be able to avoid the patterns altogether.

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