Dec 29: Defining Moment

Today’s Reverb 10 prompt asks: Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

I wrote about a defining moment in September…here’s what I wrote:

The other day I was in the car and I saw this woman walking down the street.  She was dressed in a black blouse cinched at the waist with a wide black belt.  She had flowing black pants.  Her long brown hair was down and she carried a tote bag and she was, frankly, magnificent.  She looked so comfortable in her own skin, so sure and joyful and present in her own life that she took my breath away.  I wanted to BE her.  Not in an “I don’t want to be me” self-loathing kind of way.  I just wanted to feel that sure-ness and presence and absence-of-apology. It was so inspiring.

A few days after I saw the woman I decided to set the intention of blossoming into my 30s.  I wanted to become as comfortable in my skin as that woman was.  And ever since then I feel like I’m continuing that work.  I’m dropping the “shoulds” and the apologies (lots of rephrasing going on…I keep going “I should….NO…I mean…”).  I’m learning to stand up for myself.  I’m diving deep and doing soul work and letting go of a lot of baggage.  I’m forgiving myself for things and finally seeing (in a non-self-flagellating-y way) how I’ve been standing in my own way all this time…and then I’m forgiving myself for that.  I’m befriending myself and gearing up to make my dreams come true, and to allow ease and joy to lead the way.  I’m also, incidentally, putting on fun makeup and jewellery because I can, and it makes me feel AWESOME. Awesome like a black blouse and wide black belt.

I love the fact that a drive-by viewing of a total stranger initiated all of these shifts in my life.  She’ll never know me, but I’ll never forget her.

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