Wow. I can’t believe it’s Friday again.
So, today I did a free Birth Chart reading thingy at Cafe Astrology. I mention this because of one thing: Mars in Sagittarius. Here’s what it says:
When Mars is in Sagittarius people get angry, they feel like running. They have to do something–not about it, but something else altogether.
The rest of the write-up on this particular astrological aspect was…whooooo….WAY off (I do NOT like debates. I hate them with a passion. I will go a million miles to AVOID a debate. Etc.), but this one line rang true with a vengeance.
I mention it because it puts into clear, understandable English a pattern that I have been noticing this week: namely, that when I’m angry (or sad or lonely or self-critical or depressed) I am automatically driven to do something else.
Now, for the past I-don’t-know-how-many years that go-to activity has been eating. I’ll admit it: I’m a food druggie. I have downed more than my fair share of anger-induced chocolate cake. And, for someone who -as I discovered last week- has issues with residual anger from decades gone by…that means a LOT of cake. Or chips. Or candy. Or cookies. Or bread. You get the idea.
After my experience last Friday, it seemed like there was an alternative. I was in a rotten mood on Saturday night, and Matthew suggested I go and dance it out. So I did (well, I bit his head off for suggesting it…and then I realized he was totally right…and THEN I danced it out. Sorry, honey). Not only did it help, but afterward I realized that I didn’t want to eat the Mars Bar I had saved for dessert. I just didn’t need it any more.
And here’s the thing: the dancing actually helps me. Eating, I will be the first to admit- has never really helped me. It makes me feel momentarily better, but it’s not just food I’m stuffing down my throat and into my body, it’s whatever negative emotion I happen to be avoiding. That stays inside me. Dancing actually enables me to release the emotion…and if it doesn’t completely release it, it at least helps me to back off and understand what’s going on in my brain. Like meditating…only with music and cardio.
This week, every time I felt down or cranky or indefinably out of sorts, I put down the cookies and turned up the music. I danced alone, I danced with Xander, I danced and cleaned at the same time. Sometimes I danced for a few minutes, other times I danced for longer, and one time I started moving and realized “No, I already danced today and what I really really want is to sit in stillness and read a book.” In every case, the process of dancing (or even just beginning to dance) allowed me to get in touch with my body, my emotions, and my true essence. In every case it helped me to move on.
This feels…Big. This feels life-changing. This feels like the beginning of something absolutely massive. I love it!
And I know I haven’t started moving through the 5Rhythms exercises the way I originally intended…but, to be honest, I never imagined that the mere practice of moving my body every day (or almost every day) would create such changes. I’m not ready to move on from that yet. When I am, I’ll let you know, but until then I’ll keep giving you glimpses into the process.
Have a great weekend!