5Rhythms Friday: …when everything falls apart

Happy Friday, everyone!

I have had one HELL of a week. Like really stupendously bad. Matthew and I are both at the point where we just want to cut loose, sell all of our belongings, and move somewhere far away…Bali? Italy? India? (we SO should not have watched Eat Pray Love this week!!!).

From the point of view of the 5Rhythms, I think I was in chaos this week. Which was unfortunate, since my knee hurt too much for me to actually dance chaos. And I really REALLY needed to. Boo. Hiss.

This week was all about trying to meet myself where I was and to ride the waves of suckitude, keeping in mind that it was taking me somewhere I needed to go. This was hard. This was FREAKING HARD. I think the fact that I made it through this week at all was a very good sign.

The other day I got the best lesson from Goddess Leonie…possibly the lesson that this week was intended to bring. She said:

All you need to do is *dance*… not just physically, but in your heart and in your life too…

Which brings up the following thoughts: sometimes you just need to let go and ride the waves of your emotions. You need to tell yourself that it’s OK to be angry or sad or lonely or whatever and just feel what you feel. Do your dance through each moment. Have faith that the good is still there even if you can’t see it. Each moment only once. Just breathe through the pain and remind yourself that pain is OK, your feelings are valid, and that you will make it through.

Leonie went on:
You are precious and beautiful… and all you need do is soak in the joy and give yourself glory.

…this is the part that I have trouble with on weeks like this one. Remembering that I’m an awesome person is hard when I have to try with all my might not to completely lose it on my poor can’t-help-that-he’s-two son and when I’m the one acting like the toddler in this relationship. It’s hard as a stay-at-home mama to go “OK, sweetie, you’re burnt out. And you have every right to be. It’s been a hard week. Take it easy on you. You are still a good person. You are still worthy of all good things. I promise.”

This is definitely a work in progress. But I love the idea. And I have a vision of being able to just dance with the ups and down of life as it comes…not fighting or judging myself, but just moving through it.

On the wall of the cottage where we spent our New Years there was a plaque with this motto:

Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.

I think I may need to get that tattooed somewhere very very visible just so I’ll remember it on weeks like this one.

Have a great weekend, my darlings!

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