Really, I could say “Dancing with Fear part 1 of 12,” but you get my point.
I present…me. Dancing.
This process was difficult. Difficult even apart from the technical difficulties and the massive learning curve of my video camera. As someone who was trained to base a dancer’s (read: my own) worth by their (read: my) body size and ability, to see myself moving on film is hard. Even though I embrace my size. Even though I have made great strides down the road of body-love. Even though I’m working to increase my strength and range of motion. And even though I LOVE LOVE LOVE my dance in this video. It was still hard.
Hard…but ultimately good. The more I watched the video the more I loved it. And the more I saw past my initial reaction. I’m proud of myself for taking the next step out into the world. I’m looking forward to exploring my body’s movement as I keep making videos (because I WILL keep making them…part 2 is already “in the can”). I feel like this dance-a-thon is a rite of passage, a healing journey to the heart of the wounds I still carry when it comes to my body and dance. And I can’t wait to see what comes of it.
Want to join in the Delicious Body Dance-a-thon? Find out what’s going on by heading over to Rachael Maddox’s blog!