Why can’t I write a post more than once a month anymore?! Urgh.
I’m writing during a belated lunch hour today. I was watching the email pile up and up and the days pass with no writing being done and I thought to myself, “Self, you know, you could take your damn laptop to work and do this stuff there.”
So here I am.
Working full-time is weird. I know it feels normal for most people, but trust someone who spent the last 4.25 years not-working: it’s weird. Your entire life suddenly revolves around this place you go to do things you never really thought about before. Like answer admissions emails, create new digital filing systems, order textbooks, and learn how online courses are made (I’m the assistant to the Distance Education Coordinator at the School of Social Work at my alma mater…this is the stuff I do).
This isn’t what I expected to be doing this fall. I signed up for a 2-week gig leading to part-time work…and then the person I was filling in for passed away (yes, really). And I realized that I enjoyed the job and I was good at it…and when they asked if I could keep going for a while, I said yes almost immediately. Sometimes things just happen and you need to listen to your gut and ride the wave. And now I’m working full-time (at least until New Years) with an actual salary that was quoted to me in annual terms for the first time in my entire life.
It’s turned our world upside down, this change. Suddenly I’m the one leaving every morning, kissing my baby goodbye and coming home a couple of hours before bedtime. My husband is home trying to parent AND house-keep AND run his business. And we’re both experiencing growing pains while we adjust to it. That’s really why you haven’t heard from me much lately.
I’m finding my way. I’m finding that there are moments (like this one) that can be snatched during my day and used for whatever I need–like the 10 minutes I spend stretching in the morning before I start my day, the 15 minutes per lunch-hour I used to crochet an amazing rainbow scarf, the 20 minutes of lounging/net-surfing/crafting/snuggling I grab after the next day’s clothes are laid out and the lunch is packed.
I’m noticing on an almost-daily basis that I am smarter than I thought I was, more capable, a more creative thinker. Things about me that I took for granted are suddenly things that make me special–I don’t know anyone else who closes the door and has a 2-minute dance party whenever her energy slumps (not at this office, anyway). I’m the Big Tea Mug girl, the Filing Whiz, the Crocheter of Rainbow Scarves.
It’s fun to play around with my definition of me in this space that I live in for 7.5 hours a day–figuring out who I am by seeing myself through other peoples’ eyes for a while.
I don’t know what’s coming next. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay here after December 31. But I’m planning to make the most of it while I’m here, to learn a lot, to stretch my wings, and hopefully to write more damn blog posts. It’s all a big learning curve, darlings, and I appreciate you bearing with me while I find my feet.