Shining and Trusting (2012 in review)

As you can probably tell, I’m not doing Reverb this year.

Remember Reverb? That whole “answer a question every day for all of December” project I did last year and the year before?

Yeah, well…not happening this year. Clearly.

But just because I’m not writing about 2012 every day doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it. Lately I’ve been thinking about my words for 2012 and how they shaped my experience.

For those of you who weren’t around this time last year, my words for 2012 were Shine and Trust.

I was going to shine my light as brightly as I could, not let fear get in my way, say Yes! to adventure…and I was going to Trust that life would take me where I needed to go (awesome, right? I’m still completely happy with them).

I’m going to be honest—when I picked those words I had a really clear vision of where they were going to take me. I assumed I would end up with a profitable business (or at least a business that made any money at all :P). I assumed that Shining and Trusting would be all about finally taking the leap into Businesshood and Dancerness (whatever that means). But, as usual, the Universe had a much more multifaceted and complex plan for me than the one I envisioned 12 months ago.

I did shine in a dancing kind of way. I made all these videos (20! plus a couple you haven’t seen yet–stay tuned for guest posts!). I love love loved making every one of them–it reconnected me with my performing self, and that’s a part of me that I’ve dearly missed.

I also shone in a business way–I tested my coaching muscles, ran a term of dance classes, made some cool ideas real (more than one!), and began investigating a joint venture project which will hopefully blossom into Something Super Cool in the new year. I didn’t make a lot of money (OK, if you factor in expenses, I didn’t make any), but I shone in ways I only dreamed of back in 2011.

But…here’s the thing I wasn’t expecting…I also shone in other ways.

I said yes to a job, even though the idea of leaving home and my stay-at-home-mama identity terrified me. I jumped in. And now I’m shining at work–finding ways to be wholly myself in an office setting, doing my best to kick butt at whatever I’m asked to do, rediscovering the power of my brain and my creative thinking, appreciating my past achievements, going in with the intention of making people happier after I’ve interacted with them. These aren’t ways I expected to shine this year, but they’re 100% Shining.

I’m shining physically–I cut my hair when I realized that it was weighing me down.

…Before…

And Matthew and I have been eating in a new way since my birthday, and I feel years younger. I’m moving more easily, I feel more connected to my body and…well..shinier. I may write more about this later…I’ve been waffling about it because diet is such a charged topic–but I feel so freaking awesome…definitely shining.

I’m shining socially. I went to a party the other weekend! An honest to goodness party. Me, Miss Social Anxiety Introvert (believe it or not). And it was….terrifying…but also fun. And I felt myself shining there too.

And that’s the thing I’ve realized—shining isn’t something you do in just one area of your life. Once you start, it spills into every aspect of your life. I feel myself shining more and more in my parenting, in my lifestyle, in my relationship. Every time it takes me in an unexpected direction, I trust that it’s taking me where I need to go.

Honestly, I’m a bit sad to see the end of the year of Shining and Trusting. We’ve had such a great time and grown so much. I’m going to keep Shine and Trust in my repertoire of touchstone words to live by.

But 2013 is coming and it’s time to pick a new word. It came to me today…I’m not quite ready to share yet, but I promise you won’t have to wait until the new year to hear from me again.

Not posting every day…but more than once a month in December? I think I can handle that…

3 thoughts on “Shining and Trusting (2012 in review)”

  1. You don’t need Reverb and Businesshood and Dancerness to Shine! It sounds like your light this year has been more self-contained and personal, much like a candle burning strongly on a winter’s night. This can be just as powerful as a floodlight beaming down on a highway. Give your beautiful candle time, and soon the fire will grow!

  2. I loved your post at Roots of She. Your face and body light up when you dance and how wonderful that you’ve found your way back to that. I haven’t read through your website, but I hope one day you get to share that with teenage girls. I think the sort of self love dance can give, the confidence and joy would be perfectly placed against those years of sometimes crippling self doubt. Many blessings to you. xxx

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