I’m like the opposite of the Toys R Us kid…

Today I went to Google and typed in “How to be a grown-up”

…well, technically I typed in “how to be a gro” and it filled in the rest because I am clearly not the only person in the world who wants to know.

I keep expecting people to go “Oh NO, don’t be a grown up! Why would you ever want to grow up?”

And here’s the truth: I don’t want to “grow up” in the way that people mean when they say “Oh grow up.” No. Here’s what I want:

To clean up my messes and not leave them all over the house. To know when bills are due and pay them on time instead of paying them whenever I happen to be able to. To have savings. To use food up before buying more. To never run out of toilet paper or hand soap. To have up-to-date passports, a will, and the same last name in both the US and Canada (long LONG story). To “get around to” all the things I mean to “get around to” instead of going from day to day hoping the sky doesn’t fall on me and then waking up in a panic one morning in July and realizing that, while I did pay my taxes, I didn’t actually file them. Yeah…that happened. Not 100% my fault, but the fact that I didn’t notice for a month is kind of sad.

I know that the answer to my problem is habits: creating them, keeping them. I know that I can learn all the stuff I need to know fairly easily if I put my mind to it. But I’m embarrassed and sad that I’m 32 years old and I’m basically a teenager in a grown-up’s body. I may feel old sometimes (like when I try to listen to dubstep or find out that Eminem’s daughter is now 18), but in many important ways I’m not acting like someone who has a kid and a house and taxes and bills and things to do other than crochet and play Minecraft. 

I don’t have all the answers (and no, I didn’t find them on Google), but I know in my heart that it’s possible to dot your Is and cross your Ts and STILL be a total kid at heart. And that’s the kind of growing up I want to do.

4 thoughts on “I’m like the opposite of the Toys R Us kid…”

  1. Growing up is so overrated. Spending the weekend with adults who have babies and houses made me realize that how /mature/ and /on top of things/ you are has nothing to do with your age. And even then, I know people who are really damn organized and pay their bills on time and never leave the milk out for two entire days without noticing, and yet their inner, emotional lives consist of a seemingly never-ending stream of guilt and fear.
    Being able to say to yourself that you have the power to do the things you have thus far been unable to do is a huge step that a lot of people never take. KUDOS

  2. Thanks! Really, I want it all: fulfilling emotional life, and to ENJOY the results of keeping on top of things. I truly believe it’s possible…I just need to work out how.

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